Bill: Now remember, people, don't try looking us up in the phone book.
Ted: And if Mr. Kincaid answers the phone, don't say anything about buying our movies on eBay. Okay man? So check it! This movie Dazed and Confused is like, essential. Follows a group of way cool dudes and chicks around on the last day of high school, circa 1976, suburban Texas.
Jonah: Wasn't Matthew McConaughey in that?
Stanley: Bet, the dude who liked high school chicks. "The older I get, they stay the same age!"
Emma: I give Linklater props. He snuck lots of revolutionary messages into that movie.
Jonah: Like what?
Emma: Feminist theory via analysis of Gilligan's Island, the cool history teacher warning her students what the Bicentennial's really about, exposing how conformity is enforced through mindless initiation rituals.
Bill: Uh, what was the Bicentennial really about?
Emma, Stanley & Jonah (simultaneously): Celebrating rich white slaveowners who didn't want to pay their taxes!
Bill: I just thought this flick was about smoking a lot of weed.
Ted: You can look at it like through that, y'know, revolutionary lens if you want, man, but the stoner nation knows the truth.
Bill: That's why we will ALWAYS be...READY TO ROCK!
Jonah: You know, you guys are super obsessed.
Bill: We're not the first.
Ted: Yeah, check out those dudes from the Stoned Age who joined the Blue Oyster Cult.
Jonah: The Stoned Age? That movie got made for what, forty cents they fished out of a milk glass?
Bill: But it was real, man.
Ted: Yeah, that movie was a lot deeper than you think.
Jonah: You've both finally flipped. The last Phish show you went to, did you get hit with a laser?
Ted: Forget that third eye shit, man. Alright? That was just Hollywood hokem, and you've gotta look past it. Now check it. What's it say, right here on the box?
Jonah (reading off the box): It says, "Better than Dazed and Confused."
Ted: Bingo. And that's what we're talking about. Not better as in, a more fun, candy-coated view of what it was like to be stoned and live in the 70's. Uh uh.
Stanley: Dazed and Confused has that down cold.
Bill: When you watch The Stoned Age, see, you're getting an up-close, low-rent glimpse into the basement beer blast scene of suburban stoners in the seventies. You're hip to the good, the bad, and the ugly, all up close and personal.
Ted: It's like, classic angst, man. Suburbia breeds anger and disillusionment in like, the whole American Dream. And the stoners are always the first ones to figure it out. Weed opens your eyes to that shit.
Bill: And there's always a killer soundtrack involved, 'cuz music helps keep you sane when you're locked in that kind of dull, conformist environment. BOC in the Stoned Age. Kiss in Detroit Rock City. Over The Edge, and Matt Dillon blasting Cheap Trick.
Jonah: I thought it was Keanu Reeves in that movie, and Crispin Glover was the stoner metalhead.
Bill: Dude, that was River's Edge. Eighties. C'mon, Jonah, you've Mr. Seventies, you've never seen Over The Edge?
Jonah: You'll have to school me.
Ted: Dude! It's only the most fucking right on flick about alienated youth ever made!
Bill: It's like, the Kids of the 70's. Larry Clark wishes he made Over The Edge. But hey, that doesn't make Dazed And Confused any less important!
Ted: Or essential! Parker Posey squirting mustard on high schol jail bait! Slater the king stoner expounding on George and Martha Washington farming weed and getting high! Drugs on the 40-yard line! Ben Affleck in yet another key role along his rise to megastardom! The brilliant followup to Richard Linklater's groundbreaking debut film Slacker, and Linklater's best film to date! What are you waiting for?
Bill: You can bid now, dudes!
You are bidding on a previous rental, used VHS videotape of Dazed And Confused (1993), pictured below. Tape comes with original box, cut-out to fit in white plastic storage case, is in good condition and guaranteed to play. High bidder pays $3.50 S&H. Credit cards accepted using PayPal.
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Sold 7/19/00 @ 5.99
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