Keeping it real in Wilmington, Delaware's favorite underground video store. But don't tell Mr. Kincaid!

Wednesday, August 23, 2000

SCARY SPICE GIRLS lot of 2 action figures RAVE TOY NECKLACES DOLLS

Sam: What's up peeps! Don't try looking us up in the phone book. And if Mr. Kincaid answers the phone, don't say anything about our eBay auctions. Okay?

Emma: Now tell me, Sam, you're not serious about thinking the Spice Girls are sending positive messages to all those impressionable young girls out there.

Sam: Why aren't they? Look, I refuse to get drawn into a political debate over the Spice Girls. They're strong women who don't take shit from anybody. And they use their bodies to get what they want! That's feminist, right?

Emma: Hello? That's not feminism, that's the same old song that men have been trying to brainwash women into believing since cave times! Reducing women to the sum of their body parts!

Sam: But isn't being sexy allowed?

Emma: Sure, Sam, and that's where feminism gets a bad rap. Most people would try to tell you that you can't be a feminist and like sex, or put on makeup, or wear sexy clothes. But you can! The problem is that holding airheads like the Spice Girls up as role models makes it seem like girls can't have brains, too.

Sam: Well, this lot features Scary Spice, and in her picture on the back she's wearing glasses.

Emma: With no lenses, probably! And what's the deal, why did the only black Spice Girl get a fucked up name like Scary?

Sam: I don't know. But I'm telling you, the Spice Girls are rad! Both these Scary Spice dolls have super-funky outfits, and there's even tiny jewelry and an official Spice Girls membership card! Spice Girls fans, don't listen to Emma. Go ahead and bid!

You are bidding on a lot of 2 Scary Spice Girl action figure dolls, 6" tall, fully posable, new in box, sealed in original wrapping. High bidder pays $3.00 S&H, sent Priority Mail, for one or two Spice Girls lots - see our other auctions. Credit cards accepted using PayPal.

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Sold 9/2/00 @ $3.99

BABY SPICE GIRLS lot of 2 action figures RAVE TOY NECKLACES DOLLS

Emma: To all the girls & guys out there! Don't try looking us up in the phone book. And if Mr. Kincaid answers the phone, don't say anything about our eBay auctions. Is that cool?

Sam: Emma, look.

Emma: What?! Please don't tell me you're selling these.

Sam: Why, do you want them?

Emma: No I don't want 'em! They're the freaking Spice Girls!

Sam: Lemme guess, you don't like the Spice Girls.

Emma: She shoots! She scores! Sam, tell me how a liberated woman like yourself comes into possession of action figures devoted to furthering the cult of the airheaded bimbo!

Sam: Got 'em from a friend who was selling them to party kids.

Emma: Ravers dig the Spice Girls?

Sam: Well, she was making necklaces out of them. Drilling straight through their heads and stringing them from cords with funky beads.

Emma: So what, didn't they sell?

Sam: No, she's making a mint, kids paying $5 or $10 a pop for these necklaces! But I traded her some rave flyers for these few.

Emma: Maybe that wasn't such a great idea. You know how fast those flyers sell.

Sam: Oh, I've got more flyers. You'll see. Anyway, this lot features two Baby Spice dolls. You get one with a dress and one wearing go-go boots. There's even tiny jewelry and an official Spice Girls membership card!

Emma: Wow. Hon, you're a trip.

Sam: Besides, I think the Spice Girls are kinda cool. They're liberated, in a way.

Emma: We need to talk.

Sam: I know there's some Spice Girls fans besides myself on eBay today! Go ahead peeps, bid on 'em!

You are bidding on a lot of 2 Baby Spice Girl action figure dolls, 6" tall, fully posable, new in box, sealed in original wrapping. High bidder pays $3.00 S&H, sent Priority Mail, for one or two Spice Girls lots - see our other auctions. Credit cards accepted using PayPal.

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Sold 9/2/00 @ $4.49

Wednesday, August 16, 2000

BILL & TED'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE keanu reeves george carlin STONER CLASSIC 1989 VHS

Bill: Remember, dudes! Don't try looking us up in the phone book. And if Mr. Kincaid answers the phone, don't say anything about our eBay auctions. Okay?

Ted: So how are we getting rescued out of here if no one's supposed to contact Mr. Kincaid? Like, the cops are obviously gonna call him. He owns this place.

Bill: Look, just because I haven't thought that far ahead doesn't mean my plan won't work. Did Chris & Tommy win the science fair or what?

Ted: Yeah, but they had a time machine. Plus assists from David Cassidy and Olivia d'Abo.

Bill: I wish she was here to help us now. Olivia d'Abo. Wow. I wish she'd make some more movies. Why isn't she still making movies? I hope she didn't fall on hard times and lose her teeth in the gutter.

Ted: You mean Margot Kidder.

Bill: Oops! That was fucked up, I know. Sorry, Margot.

Ted: If we had a time machine, we could get out of here by ourselves!

Bill: Just like in our favorite movie.

Bill & Ted: Bill And Ted's Exxxxxcellent Adventure!

Ted: That's an excellent flick!

Bill: Yeah, it's an adventure, too!

Ted: Some people think we got named for those guys.

Bill: Number one, we weren't.

Ted: Number two, we were already born by the time that flick was out.

Bill: But it's okay by us if people are confused.

Ted: Because Bill Preston, esq., and Ted (Theodore) Logan are two righteous dudes!

Bill: Just like Rufus said, even when confused, we must remember to always be excellent to each other.

Ted: Now, this film right here, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, is far superior to the sequel, Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey.

Bill: Naw, dude, I liked their Bogus Journey!

Ted: But it's not better than their Excellent Adventure.

Bill: Oh, yeah, right.

Ted: As I was saying, there's bodacious shit going on in this film left and right.

Bill: Check out the medieval babes they bag from the thirteenth century!

Ted: They get this time machine, right, and use it to scoop up famous dead dudes from the past so they can ace their history finals.

Bill: Myself, I would have used the time machine slightly different, no offense to our heroes. I would have gone back to a time when dinosaurs ruled the earth, and giant female weed plants grew freely, prehistoric buds sometimes three and four feet in diameter, glowing green with elemental stone-age type crystals!

Ted: Yeah, but if you brought one back, it might be like the butterfly that got stepped on in the Bradbury story, and it would have dire consequences for the entire space-time axis. You'd come back and find totally bizarre stuff had gone down, like George Bush was President again or something!

Bill: No, because I'd smoke it right there, and the power of that prehistoric leaf would be so strong, it would give me a permanent buzz!

Ted: We got that part down already man, smoking nine times a day. You don't need no caveman weed to do that.

Bill: Maybe if we visualize really hard, this microwave here will turn into a time machine, just like Rufus' phone booth.

Ted: I don't think so, man. Look, gimme some of that. Don't be a bogart!

Bill: Listen up! Keanu Reeves rocketed to fame on the strength of this 80's classic! It spawned a sequel! It inspired millions of stoners to put their bowls down, and go to the video store! It's got George Carlin in his most memorable role ever! It's got a sexy step-mom who wears revealing clothes and makes you wish you were sleeping over at Ted's house! And if I'm not mistaken, this title was on moratorium for a long time, making an original copy like this super rare!

Ted: So what are you waiting for, dudes? Bid on it!

You are bidding on a previous rental, used VHS videotape of Bill And Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989), SP mode, the original video release for this title on the Nelson Entertainment label. Tape comes with original box, is in good condition and guaranteed to play. High bidder pays $3.50 S&H. Credit cards accepted using PayPal.

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Sold 9/10/00 @ $10.50

A VERY BRADY SEQUEL conspiracy secrets revealed 1996 VHS

Bill: Yo! Dudes! Don't try looking us up in the phone book. And if Mr. Kincaid answers the phone, don't say anything about our eBay auctions. Is that cool?

Ted: Look, man, you need to get a little deeper into this Brady Bunch conspiracy theory thing.

Bill: I will, dude! Have you told the people what they're bidding on yet?

Ted: A Very Brady Sequel. The sequel to the last movie we listed.

Bill: That's pretty organized. Jonah needs to give us a raise.

Ted: He needs to come let us the fuck out of the break room is what he needs to do!

Bill: Look, man, just chill out. We don't even know what time it is. How long ago did he leave?

Ted: Hours ago! Days!

Bill: See what I mean? My watch has been broken since last month, and you don't even own one.

Ted: Time is a relative thing, dude. It'll lock you down if you let it.

Bill: Right. So anyway, the thing you have to know about Sherwood Schwartz, the creator of The Brady Bunch, is that he's a very crafty dude with an eye on world domination.

Ted: I thought he was dead.

Bill: That's Charles Shultz, Mr. I'm Informed. The guy who drew Snoopy.

Ted: Snoopy was cool. Who'd you like better, him or Woodstock?

Bill: PigPen was my favorite Peanut. All those clouds hovering around him everytime he showed up? Obviously a stoner.

Ted: So why does Schwartz want to rule the world?

Bill: He's never forgiven the networks for cancelling his baby, Gilligan's Island. He figures if all the public wants is Brady Bunch and more Brady Bunch, he'll give it to them, with secret brainwashing rays encoded in the broadcast signals and video programming!

Ted: Why is he brainwashing who?

Bill: The general public, moron, and Brady fans especially! He's trying to turn the Brady Bunch into the gang from Gilligan's Island! Like in this sequel here, where are they?

Ted: Um, it says here they all go to Hawaii for a surprise wedding anniversary vacation.

Bill: See? They're on an island! Making sense now?

Ted: You lost me, dude.

Bill: Look, man, he's cloning people left and right! He's already cloned the Bradys. He's gotten their clones to work for him, without pay, as the new generation of Brady Bunch kids. Remember that campy Brady revival theatre show that travelled around college towns ten years ago? Don't see that around anymore, do you! It was all because of Sherwood!

Ted: So what's his master plan?

Bill: A world filled with five billion Gilligans. All the continents pushed together to form one giant island. No more males and females, natural reproduction outlawed, replaced by cloning.

Ted: No Mrs. Howells?

Bill: Or Gingers, or even Mary Annes. I'm telling you, this dude is super dangerous!

Ted: Wow. And I bet he's got the money to do it! Those re-runs have made him stupid rich!

Bill: Right! And they only way to stop him is by getting the truth out there where the people can see it!

Ted: Okay! So right here, we got the second modern day Brady Bunch movie, A Very Brady Sequel! Shelley Long back for more shenanigans leading the Brady clan on a return voyage to Hawaii and the sinister cave of Tiki Taboo! Will Greg get hit on the head while riding the wild waves? Will he get to play smell my finger with his forbidden love Marcia? Will Mike forget about being gay long enough to win Carol's heart back from her first husband Tim Matheson? Will Sherwood Schwartz use this movie to brainwash you into becoming a willing participant in the march of the Five Billion Gilligans?

Bill: Only one way to find out. Bid on it!

You are bidding on a previous rental, used VHS videotape of A Very Brady Sequel (1996), SP mode, released on Paramount label. Tape comes with original box, is in good condition and guaranteed to play. High bidder pays $3.50 S&H. Credit cards accepted using PayPal.

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Sold 9/10/00 @ $5.99

BRADY BUNCH MOVIE 70's bradys meet the 90's 1995 VHS

Ted: Dudes! Don't try looking us up in the phone book. And if Mr. Kincaid answers the phone, don't say anything about our eBay auctions. Okay?

Bill: How long have we been in here, Ted?

Ted: I don't know. I lost count a long time ago.

Bill: There's no way Jonah's still out there.

Ted: What, you think he forgot about us?

Bill: Duh! That guy's home in bed, or in that Rollergirl chick's bed, probably.

Ted: What are we gonna do? This is super-duper fucked up!

Bill: Oh, shit! We've got another problem, dude.

Ted: We're gonna starve to death in The Videodrome's break room. What else could go wrong?

Bill: Dude, look at the bag! Our kb's nearly gone!

Bill & Ted (looking at each other): Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!

Ted: Okay, man, let's not panic. KIT. Keep it together.

Bill: I've got it! We'll list a bunch of movies on eBay that some conspiracy theory-believing weirdo types out there will be looking for, they'll believe our story, call the cops, and get us rescued!

Ted: Yeah. Right.

Bill: It'll work, man! It's our only hope!

Ted: So what movie?

Bill: How about The Brady Bunch Movie!

Ted: Word! Hey, hang on, that isn't a strange, creepy cult film that any weirdos are gonna want. You're high, dude.

Bill: Don't you know anything? Why do you think none of the original Brady Bunch kids are in this movie, yet all the actors they used look suspiciously like Bradys?

Ted: Uh, that Sherwood Schwartz dude killed 'em off 'cuz they wanted syndication residuals?

Bill: No, you moron, it's because they cloned 'em! Back in '74, right when that stupid orange hair episode came out and the show went off the air.

Ted: Wow.

Bill: This movie was all part of Schwartz' master plan to invert the TV universe in the year 2001. Like, you know Michael McKean's in this movie.

Lenny? From Laverne & Shirley? You think this just a coincidence?

Ted: You're right dude, and Shelley Long plays Mrs. Brady! That's the chick from Cheers!

Bill: Eventually, they're gonna try and land the Bradys on Gilligan's Island!

Ted: For a three hour tour! Are you serious?

Bill: Dude, we've also got the sequel sitting right here. Let's sell that one in another auction and then I'll explain everything.

Ted: Word! Okay, eBay conspiracy people out there! We know you can hear us! Call the police in your area, and ask them to get in touch with Floyd Kincaid in Wilmington, Delaware, to tell him to come let us out of the break room!

Bill: You doofus! People, don't listen to him. You can call the cops, but don't call Mr. Kincaid. Look, just tell them about the movie.

Ted: The Brady Bunch Movie! Bradys meet the 90's! Jan's psychotic inner voice that wants her to kill Marcia! Cindy the tattle addict! Peter and Bobby ganging up to give Greg a well-deserved beatdown! (I wish.) Most plotlines from bad Brady Bunch episodes recycled and made to fit in ninety minutes! A must for secret Brady fans everywhere! So bid on it!

You are bidding on a previous rental, used VHS videotape of The Brady Bunch Movie (1995), SP mode, released on Paramount label. Tape comes with original box, is in good condition and guaranteed to play. High bidder pays $3.50 S&H. Credit cards accepted using PayPal.

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Monday, August 7, 2000

ANGEL schoolgirl by day, hooker by night EXPLOITATION 1984 VHS

Mark: Now remember, people, don't try looking us up in the phone book. And if Mr. Kincaid answers the phone, don't say anything about buying our movies on eBay. You got it?

Jonah: Here, I got one. Angel. Not Buffy, this flick’s from 1984.

Mark: High school student by day, hooker by night? This flick is B-grade trash. The killer stalks these Sunset Boulevard streetwalkers and has sex with their dead bodies, but this is not a horror flick. I have serious issues with this movie.

Jonah: This film did crazy box office, though, and why? Because it had a great shot of Donna Wilkes, who played Molly, aka Angel, the teen hooker, on the poster, as both an innocent high school student split screen with her chillin’ in a skin-tight leather skirt.

Mark: This movie made its money on video, you dope. This was one of the sexiest video boxes out there back in ’85.

Jonah: Competing with more than two hundred other Porky’s-ripoffs? Doubtful. Look, right here.

(Jonah swipes a movie off the shelf)

Jonah: Example A. Remember Hardbodies?

Mark: Worthless.

Jonah: No slashers, mutilations, and/or other crimes against nature does not equal a film gone wrong. Hardbodies dropped a lot of philosophy on impressionable young heads.

Mark: How to pick up women using silly tricks once you’re an over the hill middle-aged loser, course 101.

Jonah: The lessons I took away were beauty’s not always skin deep, and there’s more important things in life than scamming on pretty girls. All the middle age dudes end up rejecting the BBD philosophy and reconcile with their ex-wives.

Mark: You are just lying like hell because you think your Rollergirl might be on eBay reading this bullshit!

Jonah: For real, man. Just like Angel also had a deep message.

Mark: Such as?

Jonah: Even on the mean streets of Los Angeles, the human spirit perseveres. See, Angel has all these friends, crusty LA street characters, weird types with names like Kit Carson and Yo-Yo Charlie, and in the end they’re the ones who save her from the killer, not the cops.

Mark: Are you sure?

Jonah: I think so. Look, they made two sequels, so somebody was paying attention.

Mark: You don’t even know. People! If you want a trashy slice of early eighties exploitation that doesn’t even qualify as a drive-in movie, this one’s for you. Trying to pass itself off as kiddie porn but never quite succeeding, cute good girl gone bad, necrophiliac serial killer, overall, a fun movie. So bid on it!

You are bidding on a previous rental, used VHS videotape of Angel (1984), EP mode, released on R&G Video/Starmaker label. Tape comes with original box, is in good condition and guaranteed to play. Original box comes enclosed in protective plastic shrinkwrap. High bidder pays $3.50 S&H. Credit cards accepted using PayPal.

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Sold 8/20/00 @ $5.99

Sunday, August 6, 2000

SWITCHBLADE SISTERS i lost my eye for this gang! jack hill CLASSIC EXPLOITATION 1975 VHS

Emma: Now remember, people, don't try looking us up in the phone book. And if Mr. Kincaid answers the phone, don't say anything about buying our movies on eBay. Okay? Here we go! Today's featured item. Another video from the Videodrome's collection of unusual films that most people are too timid to watch. Straight off the shelves. Jonah, would you hand me that movie right there? Which one is that?

Jonah: Switchblade Sisters.

Emma: Do you want this one or is it mine?

Jonah: You know we both dig this movie, Emma. As much shit as I talk about Tarentino, I give him props for re-releasing this one on his Rolling Thunder label. However, what we got for ya right here is the original video release on After Hours Entertainment, not the Rolling Thunder re-release.

Emma: So here's why this flick is the bomb! From the moment this 1975 Jack Hill exploitation classic bursts onto the screen, with a slammin' opening track by Medusa that sounds like something the Carrie Nations would be pushing if their career had lasted Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls, you know you got the real deal.

Jonah: That sleazy fat dude who's trying to repossess the TV from Lace's mother, the chick who runs the girls' gang before Maggie takes over and they become the Jezebels. Then he steps onto the elevator, and all you see is Dagger Debs graffiti everywhere.

Emma: Stupid sucker thinks he's getting laid, but more and more gang members get on at every stop! Hey, you little beaver punk, open the door! And they bum rush his lowlife ass!

Jonah: Jack Hill, that guy was way ahead of his time. Like his crazy movie Spider Baby, with Lon Chaney in one of his last roles. Dare you to watch that one and not get far freaked out.

Emma: Dare you to watch the reformatory prison riot scene in Switchblade Sisters and not be amazed, we're talking cross-genre exploitation action at its finest, when Lace squares off with Mom Smackley, the hardcore lesbian warden, and nearly beats her to death with a toilet plunger!

Jonah: And y'know, as over the top as this flick is, there's a lot of reality here. Maybe because this shit was ultra low-budget, it feels real, like you're getting a glimpse into the youth gang subculture of small-city America circa 1973. You got knocked up, right? Big deal! Dom throws cash at Lace. Here, you know what to do.

Emma: The decaying urban infrastructure breeding kids who feel like the system's abandoned them. The promise of the sixties' counterculture subverted for evil ends, as personified by Crabs and the rival gang he leads, whose hippie "community center" is a total front for their prostitution and dope peddling activities.

Jonah: Somebody once told me that Gabe Kaplan ripped his whole concept for the Sweathogs off this movie.

Emma: Really? Yeah, the high school rituals on display get a lot deeper than you'd think. Dom, the leader of the Daggers, a low rent John Travolta, raping Maggie and the both of them bonding because they're tough, lost souls in a violent, uncaring world. The perpetual scapegoating of that chunky chick Donna, like when Lace gets on her back for wanting a cheeseburger, or her Dagger boyfriend who slaps her around when she doesn't win the cigarette holding contest and costs him some bread.

Jonah: Man, we haven't even mentioned half of the cool shit that goes down in this flick. You get naked chicks battling lesbian prison guards for control of the reformatory! The transformation of sweet Maggie into fiery leader of the Jezebels, the baddest girl gang to ever rumble across a movie screen! The bloody machine gun battle at the roller rink! Patch screaming, "I lost my eye for this gang!" The final confrontation with Crabs' mob for control of the streets, with freaking armored cars and vans, whole city blocks consumed by the struggle!

Emma: You can't hold the Jezebels, kids, you can beat us, chain us, lock us up, but we're gonna be back! And when we do, you better keep your ass off our turf, or we're gonna bite it off! So bid on it!

You are bidding on a previous rental, used VHS videotape of Switchblade Sisters (1975), SP mode, video released on After Hours Entertainment label, not the Rolling Thunder re-release. Tape comes with original box, is in good condition and guaranteed to play. Original box shows creases and other signs of wear, comes with protective plastic sleeve. High bidder pays $3.50 S&H. Credit cards accepted using PayPal.

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Visit our eBay for more rare Buy It Now cult, horror, sci fi, exploitation, black cinema, kung fu, anime, foreign, smoke a blunt & laugh, sex, drugs, groove tube & other various strange videos

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Sold 8/16/00 @ $9.99