Bill: Yo! Dudes! Don't try looking us up in the phone book. And if Mr. Kincaid answers the phone, don't say anything about our eBay auctions. Is that cool?
Ted: Look, man, you need to get a little deeper into this Brady Bunch conspiracy theory thing.
Bill: I will, dude! Have you told the people what they're bidding on yet?
Ted: A Very Brady Sequel. The sequel to the last movie we listed.
Bill: That's pretty organized. Jonah needs to give us a raise.
Ted: He needs to come let us the fuck out of the break room is what he needs to do!
Bill: Look, man, just chill out. We don't even know what time it is. How long ago did he leave?
Ted: Hours ago! Days!
Bill: See what I mean? My watch has been broken since last month, and you don't even own one.
Ted: Time is a relative thing, dude. It'll lock you down if you let it.
Bill: Right. So anyway, the thing you have to know about Sherwood Schwartz, the creator of The Brady Bunch, is that he's a very crafty dude with an eye on world domination.
Ted: I thought he was dead.
Bill: That's Charles Shultz, Mr. I'm Informed. The guy who drew Snoopy.
Ted: Snoopy was cool. Who'd you like better, him or Woodstock?
Bill: PigPen was my favorite Peanut. All those clouds hovering around him everytime he showed up? Obviously a stoner.
Ted: So why does Schwartz want to rule the world?
Bill: He's never forgiven the networks for cancelling his baby, Gilligan's Island. He figures if all the public wants is Brady Bunch and more Brady Bunch, he'll give it to them, with secret brainwashing rays encoded in the broadcast signals and video programming!
Ted: Why is he brainwashing who?
Bill: The general public, moron, and Brady fans especially! He's trying to turn the Brady Bunch into the gang from Gilligan's Island! Like in this sequel here, where are they?
Ted: Um, it says here they all go to Hawaii for a surprise wedding anniversary vacation.
Bill: See? They're on an island! Making sense now?
Ted: You lost me, dude.
Bill: Look, man, he's cloning people left and right! He's already cloned the Bradys. He's gotten their clones to work for him, without pay, as the new generation of Brady Bunch kids. Remember that campy Brady revival theatre show that travelled around college towns ten years ago? Don't see that around anymore, do you! It was all because of Sherwood!
Ted: So what's his master plan?
Bill: A world filled with five billion Gilligans. All the continents pushed together to form one giant island. No more males and females, natural reproduction outlawed, replaced by cloning.
Ted: No Mrs. Howells?
Bill: Or Gingers, or even Mary Annes. I'm telling you, this dude is super dangerous!
Ted: Wow. And I bet he's got the money to do it! Those re-runs have made him stupid rich!
Bill: Right! And they only way to stop him is by getting the truth out there where the people can see it!
Ted: Okay! So right here, we got the second modern day Brady Bunch movie, A Very Brady Sequel! Shelley Long back for more shenanigans leading the Brady clan on a return voyage to Hawaii and the sinister cave of Tiki Taboo! Will Greg get hit on the head while riding the wild waves? Will he get to play smell my finger with his forbidden love Marcia? Will Mike forget about being gay long enough to win Carol's heart back from her first husband Tim Matheson? Will Sherwood Schwartz use this movie to brainwash you into becoming a willing participant in the march of the Five Billion Gilligans?
Bill: Only one way to find out. Bid on it!
You are bidding on a previous rental, used VHS videotape of A Very Brady Sequel (1996), SP mode, released on Paramount label. Tape comes with original box, is in good condition and guaranteed to play. High bidder pays $3.50 S&H. Credit cards accepted using PayPal.
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