Bill: Remember, dudes! Don't try looking us up in the phone book. And if Mr. Kincaid answers the phone, don't say anything about our eBay auctions. Okay?
Ted: So how are we getting rescued out of here if no one's supposed to contact Mr. Kincaid? Like, the cops are obviously gonna call him. He owns this place.
Bill: Look, just because I haven't thought that far ahead doesn't mean my plan won't work. Did Chris & Tommy win the science fair or what?
Ted: Yeah, but they had a time machine. Plus assists from David Cassidy and Olivia d'Abo.
Bill: I wish she was here to help us now. Olivia d'Abo. Wow. I wish she'd make some more movies. Why isn't she still making movies? I hope she didn't fall on hard times and lose her teeth in the gutter.
Ted: You mean Margot Kidder.
Bill: Oops! That was fucked up, I know. Sorry, Margot.
Ted: If we had a time machine, we could get out of here by ourselves!
Bill: Just like in our favorite movie.
Bill & Ted: Bill And Ted's Exxxxxcellent Adventure!
Ted: That's an excellent flick!
Bill: Yeah, it's an adventure, too!
Ted: Some people think we got named for those guys.
Bill: Number one, we weren't.
Ted: Number two, we were already born by the time that flick was out.
Bill: But it's okay by us if people are confused.
Ted: Because Bill Preston, esq., and Ted (Theodore) Logan are two righteous dudes!
Bill: Just like Rufus said, even when confused, we must remember to always be excellent to each other.
Ted: Now, this film right here, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, is far superior to the sequel, Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey.
Bill: Naw, dude, I liked their Bogus Journey!
Ted: But it's not better than their Excellent Adventure.
Bill: Oh, yeah, right.
Ted: As I was saying, there's bodacious shit going on in this film left and right.
Bill: Check out the medieval babes they bag from the thirteenth century!
Ted: They get this time machine, right, and use it to scoop up famous dead dudes from the past so they can ace their history finals.
Bill: Myself, I would have used the time machine slightly different, no offense to our heroes. I would have gone back to a time when dinosaurs ruled the earth, and giant female weed plants grew freely, prehistoric buds sometimes three and four feet in diameter, glowing green with elemental stone-age type crystals!
Ted: Yeah, but if you brought one back, it might be like the butterfly that got stepped on in the Bradbury story, and it would have dire consequences for the entire space-time axis. You'd come back and find totally bizarre stuff had gone down, like George Bush was President again or something!
Bill: No, because I'd smoke it right there, and the power of that prehistoric leaf would be so strong, it would give me a permanent buzz!
Ted: We got that part down already man, smoking nine times a day. You don't need no caveman weed to do that.
Bill: Maybe if we visualize really hard, this microwave here will turn into a time machine, just like Rufus' phone booth.
Ted: I don't think so, man. Look, gimme some of that. Don't be a bogart!
Bill: Listen up! Keanu Reeves rocketed to fame on the strength of this 80's classic! It spawned a sequel! It inspired millions of stoners to put their bowls down, and go to the video store! It's got George Carlin in his most memorable role ever! It's got a sexy step-mom who wears revealing clothes and makes you wish you were sleeping over at Ted's house! And if I'm not mistaken, this title was on moratorium for a long time, making an original copy like this super rare!
Ted: So what are you waiting for, dudes? Bid on it!
You are bidding on a previous rental, used VHS videotape of Bill And Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989), SP mode, the original video release for this title on the Nelson Entertainment label. Tape comes with original box, is in good condition and guaranteed to play. High bidder pays $3.50 S&H. Credit cards accepted using PayPal.
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